I have a compilation of images in my head. Rainboots. Mud. Tree house. Base ball. Dinosaurs. First steps. Messy faces. Tonka trucks. Fruit snacks. Animal crackers. Craft projects. Hand prints. Bubble baths. Disney movies. Trains. Bare feet. Stuffed animals. Blankets. Pizza. Snacks. Sneakers.
My personal slide show leaves me breathless sometimes. I can't help but associate all things little boy with Hercules. I can't help but feel a loss when I encounter these things. It doesn't prevent me from wanting to see them or cause me to take an alternate route to avoid seeing a train I know Hercules would have grown to appreciate. But the images do serve as a constant reminder of my family's loss.
I'm learning to cope and not get so upset when I'm reminded of what will never be with Hercules. It's an ongoing task and the success rate varies hour by hour.
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