I can't even think of saying the words "Happy Mothers Day" to anyone, let alone hearing them. Not my to mom.  Not to Harry. Not to anyone. In my head, I know it's not fair to them. But in my heart, it's not fair to me. I'm still trying to cope with the injustice of losing Hercules. In my head, I haven't quite found a way to make it alright. To forgive myself and the universe for not doing everything possible to make sure Hercules could survive. I should have given a disclaimer that I am in a terrible, terrible place right now. It's almost three in the morning and I can't stop. Thinking. Crying. Worrying.

In 12 hours, I'll see the boys and maybe everything won't feel so raw. Right now, I'm just trying to figure out how to heal a hurting heart, and I just don't think I have the supplies to making that happen.