Thrown for a loop

On Friday night, I asked the boys to play with each other in their rooms while I finished up some laundry downstairs in my bedroom. When I got to my room, I sat down on my bed and fell apart. Tears starting rolling out before I had any decency to stop them. I was overwhelmed and unsure of how to do anything about it.

I realized that I have taken on quite a bit in the last month. I am a full time mom, student, homemaker, dog walker, wife to be, wedding planner, chauffeur, chef,  and now employee. Its the full time mom/ full time student/ full time employee combination that really threw me for a loop.

While I am eager to have an extra source of income for our family, the idea of being away from my family breaks my heart a bit. I realize that mine and Zach's work situation (well, work for him /no work for me situation) was never meant to be permanent... For the time being, however, it was an ideal situation for us and it definitely afforded me the chance to really get to know my children.

Friday night I worried about who would be with the boys while I put it odd, unpredictable hours at work. The boys have never been to daycare and accommodating and finding one we trusted was going to be tricky. Who would ensure Anna didn't drink toilet water or eat trash? At night, I am the only defense against such shenanigans. I was hesitant to let anyone watch the boys pre Anna. Now, I'm downright terrified of what I could come home to.

Needless to say, I have taken on much more than most people can handle. Fortunately for me, I'm not most people. I have the amazing support of my family. It took a single call to my parents and an offer of their help alleviate some of my accumulated wedding worry to give me a sense of calm. It took another call to Zach to keep that calm.

The next month or two will be an interesting test. I'll keep you posted on the results.

Full of news

Our life has been full of "news". New dog. New home. New Car. New school year for Zach and I. Our news has been keeping us, very, very busy (to say the very least).

Anna, our dog, has definitely changed the dynamics in our house. Before Anna, the night was ours. Zach and I could sit back. Breath. Enjoy the silence after a long day of listening to 6 little feet darting across the hardwood floors leaving a path of destruction in their midst. The moments right after they boys go to bed have always been one of my favorite parts of the day (aside from my ultimate favorite time of waking up to one of their feet in my stomach and an arm across my face). It's just such a drastic difference (like day and night hardy har har). The noise associated with the hustle and bustle of a family vanishes and is replaced by the clock ticking and other sounds of the house that are inaudible during the day.

Post Anna, the silent hours when the boys are sleeping is replaced by Anna: Breathing. Sniffing. Exploring. Barking. Laying on me. Sitting on me. Climbing on me. Suffocating me. She's been nearly successful dozens of times at taking my life. Before I know it, I see all 109 pounds of Anna coming at me. She uses the element of surprise to her advantage. She loves sitting on my shoulder when I least suspect it. She also loves Zach. I mean, she really, really loves Zach. He is on constant alert for any sign of Anna's infatuation with him. At any given time when Anna and Zach are in a room together, I can look at Zach and see fear in his eyes. Anna's great for inducing fear in full grown men.

In all reality though, Anna has been a godsend. When Zach is at work and I'm left alone with the tik tocking of clocks, I have Anna's big slobbery head to accompany me. She's not great for conversation, but she is awesome for a laugh.

Anna before the boys met her on Christmas Eve!