They weren't supposed to be ours to keep.

You've heard from the media the loss 34th ID MP have suffered. And now you'll hear it from me...

I was in my office when I first heard someone talking about it, shortly after the all clear had been given. We had been in hibernation in our office for last hour or so, waiting until those two words were spoken. An hour before, the alarms had sounded, INCOMING! INCOMING! For whatever reason, those words didn’t really register. Yes, I’m in war, but to me it wasn’t that kind of war. So, I heard the words, but I didn’t process them.

An hour or so later when the all clear was given, when people started talking about casualties… I once again didn’t really process the words. But, to me this just wasn’t that kind of war… so once again those words just rolled right through my body and I didn’t absorb them. Didn’t even think twice about them. It’s pretty awful that I heard the words “three casualties” and I don’t even process what that means.

It wasn’t until I went to meet my dad for breakfast, like we’ve done every morning. I could tell just by looking at him that something wasn’t right. First of all, he didn’t have a rubber band in his hand aimed at any of his neighbors. And he didn’t have that mischievous grin of a small child on his face. Instead, his face was solemn. I thought maybe he hadn’t slept well, with the alarms cutting into his sleep. And then he asked if I had heard. I said well, yeah. Didn’t everybody? That's the whole point of an alarm is to make people hear it. I thought about it… and than I said Dad… did somebody die last night? He said… yes Jacki. Three people died last night. I asked if it was anybody we knew… and he said no.

And a sigh of relief went through my body. And then I started thinking that it really was someone we had known. Because it was three of our brothers that had died. It could have easily been anyone of us. It could have been anyone I've known since I was a toddler. It could have been my dad, my aunts or my uncles. But instead, it was one of my brothers. And so I wasn’t really hungry anymore. Because all I could picture was what there families must be feeling. I knew what the military family was feeling, but we had only had them on loan, on the condition that we would bring them back to there families. They weren't supposed to be ours to keep, or Iraq's for that matter.

I will say that COB Basra is safer than most of the bases as far as stuff like this goes. I know that other bases have been attacked far more. And when the Brits and 10th mountain first got here, they had 100 attacks a month. They practically slept in their gear, even going so far as to build a protective shelter right next to where they sleep (called a coffin) so in the middle of the night, their safe haven was right there.

I think that the loss of those three soldiers hit us all. I can only ask that you guys keep their families in your prayers, and continue to keep us in your prayers.

I love you guys and miss you everyday. It’s times like these when I wish that I could just talk to you guys in person… because sometimes a phone call is just not the same.

I’m writing another blog after this, but I felt this deserved a blog of it’s own.

<3 Me.