There are a few simple luxuries that a person can take for granted all their lives and then begin to covet when they are suddenly deprived from them. My dad has touched on this point before. I believe he wrote something in his blog about how he missed having his bathroom sessions interrupted by the pounding on the door by one of his children or his wife begging for him to hurry up. He missed having the cushioney soft comfort of some good ol’ Cottonelle. The time to leisurely read a book, if of course, it went uninterrupted by another person without the luxury of ample time.
And alas, there are things that I too miss from my bathroom experience and often think of fondly. And today, I decided to reunite with those oh so fond memories. Thus, I slipped a magazine into the back of pants, disguised from the eyes of a Judgy McJudgerson (for those of you who are not familiar with this terminology, a Judgy McJudgerson is a judgemental person... but just a fun way to say it) who may have been observing me. And slyly walked into the porcelain palace. Well, as sly as you can with the corners of a magazine digging into your backside.
I chose the last stall, as the perfect setting to read my People magazine. But alas, my peace and quiet was soon interrupted by the sound of another visitor’s boots. I listened as I heard them approach closer and closer. They didn’t stop. They just kept going… until they reached my stall. They fumbled at opening the door.
And then they opened it. To my shock and dismay, as well as their’s. They opened the door to find me with my magazine on my lap, one elbow resting on my knee, in the process of turning a page. She shut the door with a hurried apology, and then moved right next door. One could say we were neighbors.
I sat there, contemplating whether I should put the magazine down and get out of there before she did, or wait until she left, quite the difficult decision. I finally decided to just hurry up and get out of dodge. Either way… I can’t understand how my dad could miss an interruption in the bathroom… to me, it was dreadfully unwelcome… I think my neighbor and I both learned an important lesson tonight. She probably learned to knock, in case somebody was sitting quietly behind the door reading to their hearts content. I learned to lock the door I am quietly reading behind.
I feel like I should add that another thing that I’ve missed about my bathroom at home is my ability to keep my cell phone on me, in case an emergency should arise. I feel like this is an important point to make because somebody, and I’m not naming any names, has made it his goal in his blog to make sure that everyone knows about it. I believe it has been mentioned at least twice now… And all you are hearing is his exaggerated tale… which we all know is generally the only tale he tells. And while it’s true that some facts are similar, it is equally true that most are exaggerated. I won’t kick a dead chicken or whatever that stupid saying is… but just know that the bathrooms here are fully stocked with cheap toilet paper, so luckily I’ve never been in need of my cell phone in there… yet. But just in case, maybe I should get some walkie talkies or baby monitors… who knows when a crisis could transpire.
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