I had set out today promising myself I would be a big girl, and not cry. That I would be the strong one, the comforting one and not let my emotions trouble the people I love. I would be the one to show them that it’s ok, I’m ok with this. I had even put make-up on to prevent what I now know is the inevitable.
And yet, and the first sign of tears from my mom, I too sprouted some of my own. I hated to see that she was upset, and no matter what I could do in that moment, I couldn’t fix it and it was my fault in the first place. I know she won’t see it that way, because she’s stubborn (naturally, she takes after her mother), but it was just one more bomb dropped on her after my dad, doug, and josh had left. I had joined them now.
I cried as we took pictures, documenting this monumentous day. Today, I wasn’t a little girl anymore, I was a soldier. Or at least for the next 9 months or so. It was definitely worthy of taking a couple pictures.
I hope I never have to endure a day like this again, although if it happens it happens. I couldn’t even look back and give a reassuring smile as I boarded the plan as I had intended to do. Instead, I boarded the plan sobbing, with my head hung low. This was my hello to a new world, and a temporary good bye to the old. I have to say it royally sucked. I felt more like flipping the new world the bird, but of course I’m a dignified lady, as you all know.
Anyways, I’m settled into my room at Fort Benning. It has two bunks and four wall lockers. My roommates are two girls named Beth and Jody. Tomorrow we have formation at 0830. And that’s about it.
I love you all and miss you already!
I love you, and I am keeping you in my thoughts as often as I breathe air.
ReplyDeleteI miss you so much baby girl. Be strong. Keep your chin up. We are all routing for you!
Abby
Miss Jackie, Best of luck to you on your new adventure! You will do awsome, you always do. Keep a smile on your face, it always makes people wonder what your up to and we all know that you are usually up to something! Give your dad, doug and chuck a big hug for me when you get to Basrah!
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!
With love from my family to yours,
Heather
Jacki, As I am ready your blog the tears start again. Damn it. I really wanted to be tuff. I know your going to be ok. And I am happy you will be with Dad. You may be a soldier to the rest of the world, but in my world your still my little girl. For some reason thoughts of when you were a baby were going thru my mind, and where you are now, and it just made it that much harder. Just remember, dad and I are so proud of you as our daugter. You kids have made our life complete. You are all so different, but yet you have enriched our life in in your own ways.
ReplyDeleteI love you and stay safe.
Mom