Today is another one of those days. I have this unnamable feeling. The only way I've been able to explain it is like I'm worrying about something that I can't identify. And because I can't identify, every part of my body is trying to help me. I can always feel the onset of the unnamable.
It starts deep in my stomach, like an incurable belly ache. It's a slow throb, that gets stronger the longer and harder I try to put a name or a face to my feeling. It’s a sinking feeling, almost a foreboding. The pain in my stomach morphs into a head ache. I think my brain is just working overtime. It makes it hard to focus on whatever I'm supposed to be doing. Accomplishing anything is improbable, talking is difficult and moving on with whatever it is that is plaguing me is impossible.
The final symptom that develops is a heart ache. My heart physically aches. It doesn’t beat faster or any stronger, but it does seem to just hurt every time it thumps. All of the symptoms combined lead to me. Right now. At work. Trying so hard to focus.
Today is not my day. I have had many days in the past week that were in fact my day, and I don’t mean to sound pessimistic or worry anyone by only writing about these kinds of days. It’s just that the only thing that seems to alleviate the pressure or that unnamable feeling is doing this. Writing.
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