Every day when I walk to work, the gate guards stop me and ask “Miss Jacki, what happened to your leg? Are you hurt?” Every day, I laugh and say, nope. I’m fine. They look at me confused and kind of tilt their heads “But then why do you walk so funny?”
I don’t tell them why. It’s hard to explain to someone who does speak English, let alone explain to someone who doesn’t speak English as their native language, that I accidentally sat on my own straightner. My own hair straightner that I had turned on to 430 degrees and then gently set on my bed just moments before it collided with my bum.
Well, that’s not technically correct. It would probably be more accurate to say that it collided with my upper left leg, right where the leg and bum meet. Bum. That’s a stupid word and I’m not sure why I’m using it.
Regardless, this happened a week or two weeks ago, I’m not really sure anymore. And ever since then I’ve had to exert caution as I complete the simplest tasks, like walking to and from work, going to the bathroom (can’t sit normal on the toilet seat for fear that my laceration will come in contact with the thousands of other things that have touched the toilet). For awhile, when I sat the wrong way in my desk chair (that is, I didn’t sit on my right hip), my laceration would meld with my pants, which would stick to my chair… and I would have to carefully separate my pants from my chair and then my pants from my laceration (what I call it so I don’t have to say my self-inflicted burn).
My own father has taken it upon himself to mercilessly mock my new strut, as he drags one leg and then hops a little. My colleagues watch as I slowly shift out of my seat, impatiently waiting for my laceration and pants to separate from their warm embrace. I’m sorry to interrupt their romantic moment, but I’ve got things I need to do. Even in the shower room, I get questions. I’m not sure why their eyes are averted to a place so near my bum (there I go again with that word), or how to answer. They just wouldn’t understand…
I can’t quite explain how I burned myself so far up on my leg (I was wearing shorts) or how I could have been so absentminded. I’d like to attribute that to my old age. I feel like it’s a valid excuse.
I guess if the worst wound I get here is from a hair straightner, I’m probably doing alright…
<3 Jacki
P.S. On a completely unrelated note, I just looked at my makeshift countdown (It’s on my computer and it’s called the donut of misery). I have approximately 77.56 days left here give or take, probably give.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Jacki Wacki Pudding Pie
Our family loves when Dave gives us letters instead of cards. Here is the letter he wrote to Jack on her 20th birthday
Jacki Wacki Pudding Pie,
I need to add a disclaimer right up front that protects me in the event that my memory failed me. To the best of my ability the facts below are what I believe to be true. Your mother may say that the details might not be exact, or names have been changed to protect the innocent. What is true is that you hold a portion of my heart that is reserved for you and you alone.
What can I say from the moment of your birth to your recent deployment with your old man you have continued to make me proud! Back before you were born your mother wanted to give me the greatest gift ever and that gift was to experience the birth of a baby. I wasn’t as eager as she was and I was content with my kids. Your mother was pretty persistent and I couldn’t say no. 9 months later and a great pregnancy you were born. Your mother maneuvered through the 9 months and radiated the beauty of an expectant mother. She absolutely glowed and I (we) so enjoyed the whole pregnancy. Everything from you kicking me in the back, the ultrasounds, or the doctor’s checkups I tried to be there. Actually the kicks in the back when she lay behind me should have been an early indicator of what lay ahead.
The day you were born was very hectic for me. My old boss Pete was on me to get some work done before I could rush home to take your mom to the hospital after the call. I understand Pete’s issues today, but back then I didn’t. When I finally got out of work to get your mom, we rushed to the hospital for the delivery. I was starved and half heartedly mentioned that we could hit the drive though on the way there. It probably wasn’t the thing to say to a woman in labor. Did you know that you can’t get on East bound 94 from 35W going south? I found it out that day. If memory serves me it was snowing and traffic was heavy.
All I can say is witnessing the miracle of birth was the most amazing thing that I had ever seen. I’m not sure how good of a coach I was but I did my best. The sound of you crying and the cutting of the umbilical cord are all things that I will take with me to the grave. Your mom gave me one of the greatest gifts that day that a couple can share. Do you remember in Lion King when the King brought his baby up on the rock and held Simba up in the air to announce to his people the birth of his child? They could have very easily gotten that scene from me. I was that proud that together we could make such a beautiful baby! I’m sure that by this time in your life you’re thankful that you got your looks from your mom and the thick dark hair. I’m sorry to say you got my eyes and my melon that your long thick hair covers so well.
As the old radio commentator Paul Harvey would say “and now the rest of the story”. After you were born the nurse came to see if there was anything that your mom needed. Keep in mind your mom was exhausted and was in and out of sleep. I said yes there is one thing, and it was that she was really hungry. I’m not sure what kind of sandwiches they were that they brought her, but they were good.
It seems like the past has gone by so fast it seems like just yesterday you crashed and burned trying to take your first step. In fact Aubrey makes me think of you as a baby. The innocence, the curiosity, and the inquisitive mind are some of the things that you still carry with you today. I can remember the writing on the walls in the bathroom with your favorite marker, to one of your first loves that you had after your dad told you he couldn’t marry you. Remember him; his dad was a business owner his son and you had so much in common. He worked in the family junkyard and you collected junk. In your Mom and dad’s eyes it was a match made in heaven.
All kidding aside I believe you got the best of your Mom when it comes to a temper and her uncanny ability to solve problems, and just maybe some of your dad’s compassion when it comes to dealing with life. From day one you acted as the go between amongst your siblings and have always made those around you feel special. It’s like you had a built in magnet when it came to befriending kids. It still happens today when we stand together in church. Some baby somewhere in the pews around us is trying to make eye contact with you. Don’t take this wrong but you truly are a babe magnet! In fact one of the fond memories of my mom that I still have is of her holding you. I don’t have a lot of memories of her anymore but her eyes sparkled the day she held you.
You have truly been blessed to have had grandparents in your life. Your relationship with Harry I’m sure will be some of the best memories you will treasure always. It’s funny that sometimes you and Harry act like sisters instead of the traditional granddaughter grandmother role. I’m sure you will share stories with your kids of their Great Grandmother and just maybe you will tell them that you served in the war with their Grandpa.
Maybe you’re already learning some of your dad’s lessons of life. You seem to have discovered from your old man that if life gives you lemons you have to make lemonade. If you and Zack need me to talk to you about Chinese proverb #86 I’m ready and willing (You know the one about the birds and the bees). Every time I crave Chinese I think of you and our talks. Every time I eat fish or see fish I think of you. And every time I see a baby with beautiful brown eyes I find myself thinking of the day you were born. I think back to the treasures that God has given me and thank him for entrusting me with one of his greatest creations.
In closing I want you to know that the day you surprised me with your intent to join the guard was scary for me. I didn’t want to see you or any of my kids have to serve your country. Your logic of using my words against me came into play that day. You said “Dad you always told me that if you want to complain about what’s wrong in this country you have to participate in some form or another”. I tried to talk you out of it and when that didn’t work I encouraged you to look at the Air force. Once again you showed your stubborn side (Sibell Trait) and did what you wanted. I guess the years of being the peacekeeper at home would only transform to being a peacekeeper here in Iraq. I know I don’t show it as much as I would like but I’m glad you’re here with me. There is a part of me that wants you to be home making a mess in the kitchen, or throwing the switch in your bedroom that turns it from clean to disaster in seconds. To be in this far off place so far from home. Every time our neighbors act up I wonder where you are and if you’re safe.
Let me just say this “Jacki I am so proud of you and the Lady that you have become”. Your days of being a teenager are behind you now; your future is what you make it. Somehow you’re going to have to find a way to achieve your goal of being a circus clown, grandmother! My last piece of advice for you is this “Dance to the music as if no one is watching you, and stop and smell the flowers along the way!”
I love you Fish always and forever!
Dad
Jacki Wacki Pudding Pie,
I need to add a disclaimer right up front that protects me in the event that my memory failed me. To the best of my ability the facts below are what I believe to be true. Your mother may say that the details might not be exact, or names have been changed to protect the innocent. What is true is that you hold a portion of my heart that is reserved for you and you alone.
What can I say from the moment of your birth to your recent deployment with your old man you have continued to make me proud! Back before you were born your mother wanted to give me the greatest gift ever and that gift was to experience the birth of a baby. I wasn’t as eager as she was and I was content with my kids. Your mother was pretty persistent and I couldn’t say no. 9 months later and a great pregnancy you were born. Your mother maneuvered through the 9 months and radiated the beauty of an expectant mother. She absolutely glowed and I (we) so enjoyed the whole pregnancy. Everything from you kicking me in the back, the ultrasounds, or the doctor’s checkups I tried to be there. Actually the kicks in the back when she lay behind me should have been an early indicator of what lay ahead.
The day you were born was very hectic for me. My old boss Pete was on me to get some work done before I could rush home to take your mom to the hospital after the call. I understand Pete’s issues today, but back then I didn’t. When I finally got out of work to get your mom, we rushed to the hospital for the delivery. I was starved and half heartedly mentioned that we could hit the drive though on the way there. It probably wasn’t the thing to say to a woman in labor. Did you know that you can’t get on East bound 94 from 35W going south? I found it out that day. If memory serves me it was snowing and traffic was heavy.
All I can say is witnessing the miracle of birth was the most amazing thing that I had ever seen. I’m not sure how good of a coach I was but I did my best. The sound of you crying and the cutting of the umbilical cord are all things that I will take with me to the grave. Your mom gave me one of the greatest gifts that day that a couple can share. Do you remember in Lion King when the King brought his baby up on the rock and held Simba up in the air to announce to his people the birth of his child? They could have very easily gotten that scene from me. I was that proud that together we could make such a beautiful baby! I’m sure that by this time in your life you’re thankful that you got your looks from your mom and the thick dark hair. I’m sorry to say you got my eyes and my melon that your long thick hair covers so well.
As the old radio commentator Paul Harvey would say “and now the rest of the story”. After you were born the nurse came to see if there was anything that your mom needed. Keep in mind your mom was exhausted and was in and out of sleep. I said yes there is one thing, and it was that she was really hungry. I’m not sure what kind of sandwiches they were that they brought her, but they were good.
It seems like the past has gone by so fast it seems like just yesterday you crashed and burned trying to take your first step. In fact Aubrey makes me think of you as a baby. The innocence, the curiosity, and the inquisitive mind are some of the things that you still carry with you today. I can remember the writing on the walls in the bathroom with your favorite marker, to one of your first loves that you had after your dad told you he couldn’t marry you. Remember him; his dad was a business owner his son and you had so much in common. He worked in the family junkyard and you collected junk. In your Mom and dad’s eyes it was a match made in heaven.
All kidding aside I believe you got the best of your Mom when it comes to a temper and her uncanny ability to solve problems, and just maybe some of your dad’s compassion when it comes to dealing with life. From day one you acted as the go between amongst your siblings and have always made those around you feel special. It’s like you had a built in magnet when it came to befriending kids. It still happens today when we stand together in church. Some baby somewhere in the pews around us is trying to make eye contact with you. Don’t take this wrong but you truly are a babe magnet! In fact one of the fond memories of my mom that I still have is of her holding you. I don’t have a lot of memories of her anymore but her eyes sparkled the day she held you.
You have truly been blessed to have had grandparents in your life. Your relationship with Harry I’m sure will be some of the best memories you will treasure always. It’s funny that sometimes you and Harry act like sisters instead of the traditional granddaughter grandmother role. I’m sure you will share stories with your kids of their Great Grandmother and just maybe you will tell them that you served in the war with their Grandpa.
Maybe you’re already learning some of your dad’s lessons of life. You seem to have discovered from your old man that if life gives you lemons you have to make lemonade. If you and Zack need me to talk to you about Chinese proverb #86 I’m ready and willing (You know the one about the birds and the bees). Every time I crave Chinese I think of you and our talks. Every time I eat fish or see fish I think of you. And every time I see a baby with beautiful brown eyes I find myself thinking of the day you were born. I think back to the treasures that God has given me and thank him for entrusting me with one of his greatest creations.
In closing I want you to know that the day you surprised me with your intent to join the guard was scary for me. I didn’t want to see you or any of my kids have to serve your country. Your logic of using my words against me came into play that day. You said “Dad you always told me that if you want to complain about what’s wrong in this country you have to participate in some form or another”. I tried to talk you out of it and when that didn’t work I encouraged you to look at the Air force. Once again you showed your stubborn side (Sibell Trait) and did what you wanted. I guess the years of being the peacekeeper at home would only transform to being a peacekeeper here in Iraq. I know I don’t show it as much as I would like but I’m glad you’re here with me. There is a part of me that wants you to be home making a mess in the kitchen, or throwing the switch in your bedroom that turns it from clean to disaster in seconds. To be in this far off place so far from home. Every time our neighbors act up I wonder where you are and if you’re safe.
Let me just say this “Jacki I am so proud of you and the Lady that you have become”. Your days of being a teenager are behind you now; your future is what you make it. Somehow you’re going to have to find a way to achieve your goal of being a circus clown, grandmother! My last piece of advice for you is this “Dance to the music as if no one is watching you, and stop and smell the flowers along the way!”
I love you Fish always and forever!
Dad
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